How do you continue to try to stay positive when it feels like your entire world is falling apart?
I can’t sleep anymore. For the last week, every time I close my eyes to sleep I dream about my last days, saying goodbye to everyone, but not really knowing who they are. I dream about being lost in my own body, bedridden and unable to move; a prisoner within myself. I dream of my funeral, once no one showed up at all; the other time all those I cared about, crying, mourning… I don’t know which one was worse. I dream about my illness and before long I’m awake; wide awake, unable to move, or breathe, or cry. I awake into a state of disbelief that that in fact may very well be my future and I can’t continue to face it, so I don’t sleep.
do your eyes ever randomly go out of focus and then you are too lazy to focus them back in and just stareo at nothing for a while